[livejournal.com profile] writertobe posted the following email he received from a co-worker about the need for and use of prayer in your daily life. His version appears in parentheses (lovely defiant) to the side of the written suggestions. I posted a tongue in cheek response at first but then I posted my OWN version...which I've supplied here below the cut.

If you don't know Writer, you should. Check him out :)

I’ve inserted my own word choice in parentheses;

HOW TO TELL IF YOU NEED TO PRAY (canonize) AT WORK

When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing "good
morning" to everyone and you think, "Somebody needs to slap the
s#@! out of her"...You need to pray (commune with) at work.

When someone comes in and announces, "office meeting in 5
minutes," and you think, "what the f*&% do they want now?"..... You
need to pray (supplicate) at work.

When your computer is mysteriously turned off and you want
to say, "which one of you sons of b*&^%$# turned off my
computer?"..... You need to pray (postulate) at work.

When you and a co-worker are discussing something, and a
third person comes in and says, "well at my last office...," and
you want to throw a stapler at him...... You need to pray (implore) at work.

When you hear a co-worker call your name and the first
thing that crosses your mind is, "what the h*&^ does she want now?"
and you try to hide underneath your desk......... You need to pray (beseech) at
work.

When you are asked to stay late and help do someone else's
work and the first thing that pops in your head is, "both of y'all
can kiss my a@@!!"....You need to pray (baptize) at work.

When you're in the elevator and it stops to pick up
someone who stood for five minutes waiting for the darn thing only to
go DOWN one floor, and you say "that lazy b*&%$#"...... You need to pray (consecrate) at work.

When you take some vacation time and come back to find a
mountain of paperwork sitting on your desk because no one else
would do it and you think, "sorry a## M#$^%F%&#s"....... You need to pray (challenge) at work.

If you have ever thought about poisoning, choking,
punching, slapping or flattening someone's tires that you work
with...... You need to pray (petition) at work.

If you avoid saying more than hello or how are you doing
to someone because you know it's going to lead to their life story
.......You need to pray (eulogize) at work.

If you know all the words that have been bleeped
out....You need to pray (pronounce holy) at work!

LET US ALL BOW (raise) OUR HEADS (and stare in defiance)....


My version... )
To quote Eddie Izzard: "I'm an action transvestite.." (emphasis on the action part of my responses)
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May 2013

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