It's Monday
I'm vertical

What more do you want?

What a pathetic start to my day. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I slept fine but I woke up with a list of plausible excuses for staying home and in bed today, for no reason that I know of except that it's Monday, it's chilly, I'm tired, crabby, and I wanted to stay in bed and sleep all day. I didn't do it. Since I had to get out of bed and get dressed to take dorky dog out for her morning walk, it seemed rather pointless to get UN-dressed and go back to bed. No matter how many new excuses I thought of during our walk.

I didn't feel like walking down to Bart so I took the bus. It further irked me that the bus driver can't be bothered to respond to a polite "good morning" and "thank you." It's not like she was busy. I was the only person on effin bus at that point! I made the short connection bus to my office and walked in to find that our overly chatty, bright as a magpie cleaning lady was still here and wanted to talk my ears off until my eyes glazed over. 30 minutes later the only useful information I gleaned from that is we can expect Cliff, the elevator guy who likes to stare down my shirt, to drop by and fix our elevator today. And I didn't wear a low cut shirt. Poor Cliff. Of course he talks at LEAST as much as Cleaning Lady does...

I finally staggered down to the kitchen with an empty coffee pot. I let the phone roll to voice mail while I made coffee. A. It was before 8am, B. It was before coffee. They really don't have any inkling how lucky they are I didn't pick up the phone.

And, lastly, I sent the BossMan a ping which said:
"So, we can expect a visit from Cliff today. I mention this so you can bring your ear plugs with you to work."

He hasn't replied yet. I wonder what's up with him? Probably frantically looking for ear plugs.

Coffee is beginning to sink in. My excuses for avoiding work are beginning to fade. The day is clear and beautiful, if a little chilly, the leaves are crips and rustling with wonderful noise under my feet. My new faux-doc martens should arrive today and really...once I get to the bottom of 2 or 3 more cups of coffee...Monday won't seem like such a tough case.

I think.
Here I sit at home. I'm all dressed and can't go anywhere. My new chair is supposed to be delivered between 7-9am. So I have an hour yet before that window closes. I'm laying bets it doesn't happen on time.

Still, I'm having coffee here at home, something I don't typically do on work days (I stagger into the office and make coffee there because I refuse to get up early enough to make myself some at home). The dog is laying on my feet and twitching in her sleep. We've had our walk for the morning and it didn't rain on us.

I did manage to paint the bathroom yesterday. I will never again buy American Standard paint from Orchard Supply Hardware. It streaks everywhere. I'm going to have to do a second, thick coat with a different roller, in order to even up the walls. The other rooms I painted I used my Kelly Moore contractor grade paint. Wow is there ever a difference in the quality. Sure it cost me 7.00 a gallon more, but that 7.00 a gallon more was well worth it. I wanted a pale lilac on the walls in the bathroom. Now it's going to be an easter-egg lavender. I think I'll end up doing a glaze wash over the whole thing to tone it down again.

Last night I had one of those dreams I haven't had in a very long time. A dream where I'm upset and crying and screaming for what feels like days. The setting was a family reunion. My parents were there, I was there, my sister was there, various other people were there. My parents were arguing, I was arguing with my mother. Ug. I hate those dreams. I wake up exhausted from them as if I had run a physical marathon not just an emotional one. I don't know why I had this dream, usually I get them if I'm shutting down on my anger somehow. I don't think I'm doing that right now. I'm not mad or upset at anyone that I know of. The news pisses me off, but not THAT bad. I wonder if its a pre-curser to more family drama ahead. Ug. I know, I already said that, but, it bears repeating. Ug.

It's Monday, they say it might rain. My chair's not here yet. Am I allowed to hate Monday this week?
aamusedinatx: (coffeeblack)
especially when it arrives peacefully, with no real fuss or muss. I woke naturally with sleeping animals near me. There was no fog this morning, just cool sunshine. Our forecast calls for warm days and mild nights.

My only complaint at this point would be me still getting used to this new medication. I'm no long as tired as I was when I first took it. That weekend lost to the BIG SLEEP seems well over. However, I'm missing the 'hyper' part of hypertension. I seem to be dealing with a physical inertia. Everything moves, everything works, just at a much slower rate and so I find myself having to apply extra motivation to keep moving through tasks. Sometimes I can do that and sometimes I cannot. It seems that everything is taking me twice as long to do. I just plod along, but I am used to zipping about, nearly meeting myself coming and going and so this is a bit frustrating for me. It's weird because I'm not tired physically or mentally, I'm not feeling hazy or druggy like when I'm on vicodin or flexeril. I'm just slow.

I talked with [livejournal.com profile] lifehiker, my source for all things BP meds specific, and he says that this is relatively common and it'll take me a month to fully adjust to living life at 'normal' speed. I guess I just need to buy some more patience. Last night I finished the ramp up on Celexa and now I take it every day. I've gone over a week without a panic attack. I've had a few disturbing dreams on Friday night but nothing that would totally qualify as a nightmare and if I was distressed I was able to wake myself up quickly. Other than a real fast shot of adrenaline (like when the dork dog took off without her leash the other night) I no longer seem to deal with the heart racing panic and anxiety that had become far too commonplace for me of late. I'm more peaceful without feeling stupefied.

I'm expecting a call back from a new therapist this week too and hopefully I can start with weekly or semi-weekly visits soon. I think that will contribute to peace of mind as well.

Sex. So would sex. Lots and lots of sex.

Ahem....boys... :)

Oh, I guess I did have a bit to say on Monday, now didn't I?
aamusedinatx: (winter)
I hit "my friend's page" and I only get entries up to December 9th. This sucks. I suppose its par for a Monday actually. I've just staggered into the office on an overcast morning. It looks like it might clear off yet, but I'm not so sure. My tail bone tells me wet weather is coming again. You know you're getting old when an old "Ski" injury acts as your personal barometer.

I say "ski" injury because, well, I did break my tailbone on a ski trip to Aleska resort in Alaska in the winter of 1983. Really, I did. Okay, so I was done skiing for the day and was standing by the car. The latch of the roof-top ski holder was giving me a fit and I tried to force it, lost my footing (still in my ski boots) and landed flat on my ass on the ice of the parking lot. That's how I cracked my tailbone...in an accident with my skis. Still counts, right?

Regardless, just as the weather shifts from dry to wet my tail bone begins its customary twinges and aches. Suddenly the transition from sitting to standing or visa versa becomes a little bit more dodgy. And now I feel about as dated as the Farmer's Almanac. I need to be one of those muttering old cat ladies who yells at the neighbor kids and grows twenty-eight varieties of tomatoes in her garden. Nothing else, just tomatoes.

And I hate tomatoes, well raw ones anyway.

But that's a whole other story. And if I'm not the only one who can't see her friend's list after December 9th's entries...you won't even see this one! So I'll wait a bit.

It's Monday. I have coffee, Peet's Holiday Blend. I'm wearing sox. I want to go back to bed.

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May 2013

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