aamusedinatx: (coffeeblack)
Now that Friday has slowed down a bit, my usual Friday of Odd News:

At least he's not a a pair of shoes.

Seriously, there were times I was sorely tempted to do this to my little sister! I guess she's lucky I never did!

I think there's something in the water round there.

Closer to home, The Stanford Tree goes tits up.

Nurse accused of bad Monty Python Sketch reenactment

Stupid, in any language.
aamusedinatx: (coffeeblack)
SEOUL (Reuters) - Married South Korean women are the least happy with their sex lives, Japanese men are the most likely to try and dodge a certain sex problem and French men are the most fond of their frolicking, according to a recent survey.

The survey released this week by the pharmaceutical firm Eli Lilly and Co., one of the makers of the anti-impotence drug Cialis, of 1,200 married men and women in South Korea, Japan, France and the United States also found the French had the best sex lives followed by the Americans.

Speaking of the upcoming Valentine's Day...
A woman prisoner has won a court case forcing her boyfriend to bring her nicer presents.

Let's respark that old rejoinder "does a chicken have lips?"

Beam me up, Scotty!

Meet Fred, an ace Pet Detective.

Here's a Friday poser for you: you're a member of a highly-advanced alien civilisation and have just travelled to Earth in your hyperdrive-powered craft intending to enjoy a long-weekend break. The trouble is, you can't decide whether to: a) nip over to rural Idaho, abduct a farmhand and anally probe him before modifying his DNA and dumping him back on the highway; or b) pop down to Billingley in Yorkshire and leave a cryptic message for humanity in a corn field:


"I now know why Kirk always sent the new guy down to visit the unexplored planet," I tell the PFY as I open the latest memo.

"He didn't always send the new guy," the PFY counters, showing some closet trekkie traits.

"But when he did, what happened to the new guy?"

"They usually never came back."

"That's right. Because Kirk could SPOT A TROUBLEMAKER A MILE AWAY!"

BOFH: New recruit lost on unexplored planet
aamusedinatx: (coffeeblack)
Last night I was perusing SFist.com and came across a blurb about a 19 year old man arrested in Menlo Park, CA for peeing in (not on, IN) someone's window. The owners of the house confronted the guy as he was coming around from the backyard still zipping up his pants!! He fled and a day or so later he was arrested on a warrant for indecent exposure and vandalism. Turns out this is his 3rd arrest for the same issue. Takes water-sports to a whole new level, now doesn't it?

Anyway, the link I followed for the report took me to the most evil of websites: FoxNews.com. The Enigma will wander over there to, as he puts it, "see what the other side is being told to think" but I would rather gnaw off my hands than to stomach what passes for news there. (It's an acute prejudice, I realize. Therapy may help; we'll see).

The article was listed in Entertainment in the FoxNews "Out There" column. And face it, some teenager who gets his ya-yas out by peeing into people's homes is pretty "out there." Listed right below it was this next article (behind the cut simply because I'm posting the whole 4-5 paragraphs) about a man who tried to rob a beauty school/salon in Louisiana. Besides the absurdity of his actions and the consequences of those actions I was impressed by the quality of the writing. I could imagine a hardened reporter banging away with three fingers on his old Underwood, a cigar cocked to one side of his mouth as he types this phrase:

beating him with their tools of beautification...

Here, as Paul Harvey would say, is the
REST of the story. )



May 2013

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