aamusedinatx: (winter)
I rue the day my mother ever discovered instant messenger and badgered me into giving her my Yahell id. It's been at least two years now and there are times I flinch every time I see her log on. An old reflex, to be sure. Fortunately I can go invisible on her when I just don't have the mental or emotional bandwidth to deal with her, but I try not to do that unless I really need to.

Old habits die hard I guess as do old guilts. For a while there it seemed that every time my mother pinged me in IM I was sitting in the chat room being a sarcastic and tawdry flirt on 'Ye Olde Sex Site'. That was always weird and a bit of a buzz-kill really. Keep in mind, 40 something years has us both set up to expect the worst of each other and that is often the first if not the only thing we remember.

Case in point: Yesterday morning at 8:15am my time the IM window pops open and it's my mother. (Flinch)

[08:15] Mother: Good Morning.
[08:16] Me: hi there!
[08:16] Mother: Your up early, already at work?
[08:16] me: it's 8:15, I'm at work by 7:45 every day :)
[08:16] Me: this should no longer be a surprise to you.
[08:17] Mother: Guess I thought It was earlier, I've been up for hours. Just finished breakfast for Dad and I.


Yes, that is the actual transcript with the nicks changed. And by the way Mom, thats "for me and Dad" not "for Dad and I" you do not 'get breakfast for I.' </ snark>

This is her usual good mood when she's only mildly passive-aggressive. This question about what am I doing up so early is an old, old, old, parry-thrust. Now, I'm no morning person, but years on the workforce means holding to some fairly normal 8-5 hours. When I first started this job in 2003 my hours were 6:00am-2:00pm. I was up at 5:15 every morning. I did that for 18 months. At least two days a week, this conversation takes place online.

At least a few times a year, I am awakened by the phone at 5am on a Saturday because she seems to think San Francisco is in the same time zone as New York. She 'forgets' that I'm behind her time zone, not ahead of her. However, she *never* forgets that Alaska standard time is 3 hours behind her. No...I'm the only one who lives in a timezone that apparently resembles the TARDIS.

Keep in mind. I've lived here now for 15 years. She has lived in California as well. Several times through her years as a Navy wife. My mother is many things, but STUPID is not one of them. She is not the most brilliant person on the planet, but she is not stupid. Brilliance is my father, admittedly. Even after his ill health he can still remember time zones.

I should give up, I realize. It is a losing battle. But sometimes, these small skirmishes can be amusing and often they eat up time.

I also manage to get a few zingers in and you can feel through the computer screen her brain screeching to a halt as she tries to process things.

Case in point:

[10:41] Mother: Sounds really festive anyway. What are your plans for Christmas?Well , better get back to trying to import/export my Yahoo address book to OL Express. It's not working right.
[10:42] ME: Christmas is a progress of dinners and celebrations with the boys, with work, and hopefully SOME time to myself. I need to relax.
[10:42] Me: Christmas day (blah blah various visits and such)
[10:42] Me: on Boxing day we're going to the Mad Scientist's House
[10:42] Mother: Your boyfriends all know each other?
[10:42] Me: yes they do :)
[10:42] Me: they even LIKE each other.
[10:44] Mother: Their reporting icy roads on bridges and overpasses. UGH, glad I don't have to commute anymore. But missed our Mall walk this mornign.
[10:45] Me: :(
[10:45] Me: walk in circles in the living room.
[11:03] Mother: Sounds like fun.


Notice the distinct lack of response to my answer to her question Your boyfriends all know each other? Another thing is asking me what I'm doing for Christmas and then IMMEDIATELY trying to wander off to go deal with her Outlook Express. She is notorious for asking the questions she thinks she's supposed to ask even though she isn't interested in hearing the answer.

My sister called me a few days later in stitches because apparently my mother had muttered something about her mystification when it comes to my love life.


I swear, I should have taken up fencing in my youth.

Euphemisms

Dec. 3rd, 2005 08:34 am
aamusedinatx: (winter)
In conversation with a friend last week, I used a phrase my German grandmother often used.

"Alltogether." as in

"Get dressed! I'm tired of you running around in your alltogether!"

I guess she could bring herself to say naked, nudity, skin, or even just nude. Still, no where else in my travels, my reading or my conversation have I ever heard 'alltogether' used that way.

It makes me wonder if she was just unique and made that phrase up, or if there was some early 20th century, German/Minnesota influence of the phrase.

Regardless of grossmudder, I rather like running around in my alltogether. I liked it as a kid, I like it now. If the cats ever use that phrase on me, I may faint.

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