Is it Friday Yet?

First one in the office this morning, as I often am.

My day yesterday was somewhat unexpected. The weather here was terrific 80-85 degrees, brilliant sunshine, a gentle breeze off the bay. Once Lace got home, we took off into the day. We went to Ikea to spend money and set up a home delivery. Then...inspiration struck and even though it was late in the afternoon, I hijacked us to Alameda for ice cream. Earlier in the afternoon, I'd left the Mad Scientist a voice mail just to say hi and that I was in his neck of the woods on errands. He returned my call as Lace and I were en route to the island. I invited him to join us for ice cream.

So MS joined us for ice cream...we three migrated to the Lucky 13 a fabulous funky bar, and sat talking and laughing through 3 rounds of drinks, then on to a tequila bar/mexican restaurant for dinner. He gave us a ride home and me a kiss good night.

So two dates in one weekend? We'll see if he disappears after this rather concentrated immersion into my weird and wacky life and having met my weird and wacky roommate :)

And so today...I arrive to work having had a much better weekend than the previous one.
I spent my time reading up in the book Understanding the Borderline Mother as I have therapy tonight. I read about the children and the fathers. My sister and I fit the description of the all-good and no-good child of the Queen-Witch famously. However, reading the general descriptions of the type of man who marries a BPD is a little more difficult for me to sort through.

They are the Frog-Prince (most commonly married to the waif), the Huntsman (most commonly married to the Hermit), the King-narcissist (married to the Queen) and the Fisherman (married to the Witch).

My mother is definitely the Queen-Witch
My father is definitely not the King, he's a bit of the Fisherman, but he is mostly the Huntsman. That could explain their own conflicts as he did not possess the qualities the Queen-witch demands from a consort.

So rather than being extremely rattled today, but my own relationship with my mother, laid out in stark black and white...I'm reflective and contemplative. Trying to look at my parent's relationship with a remove and a new perspective. I'm also pondering what had to have happened to my mother to make her this way; to make all of them this way. Her 3 siblings are no better. All of them are BPD. So...what I know of my grandparents...what happened? I do not know--and I may never know, but something or some THINGS had to have been very traumatic, brutal, or something.

I stopped just before the final chapters which deal with how the child can cope and contain within a relationship with a BPD mother. They are titled thus:

Loving the Waif without rescuing her

Loving the Hermit without feeding her fear

Loving the Queen without becoming her subject

Living with the Witch without becoming her victim
(I find it extremely interesting the change of 'loving' to 'living' with the witch. VERY interesting.)


The final chapter is titled: Living Backwards

So...the coming week will be interesting.

Ahhhhh....

Hookers with hearts of gold

Sex-Offenders with No Heart of Gold but a Bottle of Viagra

I posted this on Laz's item in response to his this news item Free Viagra for Rapists

Sure it is EGG ON FACE for New York and for the Rest of the United States. But...is it really NEWS? And how should we be reacting? And are we reacting to the right issue here?

Anyway, some of you read lazaruslong2004 and some of you don't.

So as I'm a big believer in "own your own words" I set my words down here, in my own item.

We don't need to be helping sex offenders with erectile dysfunction its true. But...chances are the doctors who provide the 'script don't know who and what these people are and the pharmacies who fill this stuff don't know who these people are. They send paper work off to Medicare who doesn't care what these people are. Even felons and "ex" felons are entitled to medical care and benefits, that does not end with incarseration or parole.

So how are we to avoid this knee-jerk, drama bubble, news-that-isn't-news-but-is cause of how it impacts the hearts and minds of those of us who are or were parents and feel vulnerable and unable to protect our children in a world gone so violent, harsh and strange?

Why do you think the neo-cons are pushing so hard for a National ID program. That brings all these various identities and histories we have as individuals: drivers license, voters regististration, medical history, medical insurance, work history, credit history, military history, legal history...all of this, under one umbrella that can be cross-checked.

Now now...I'm not talking conspiracy theories here. It can protect our little ones from pedophiles with over active libidos when doctors are giving them Vitamin V at state/federal expense. What's the sacrifice of some personal liberty and privacy if it is for your own good?

We're moving that way you know...and it is exactly knee-jerk news like this which will cloud the issue.

The same medicare program providing Vitamin V to ex-sex-offenders is the same medicare program providing Vitamin V to grandpa so that he and grandma have a little fun in their remaining years. No one complains about them taxing the state and federal resources, because they're not out raping little children.

Before we all fall victim to "not in my back yard" syndrome...stop and think about how better to tackle this issue.

Run in circles scream and shout accomplishes nothing...and allows the Government more power when we stand in helpless outrage, facing the capital and saying "DO SOMETHING!!" at the top of our lungs.


STOP
and THINK

Mamma Mo