Friday's Quirky Newsy Bits

No Sex, Please we're British!

The Bulwer-Lytton fiction writing contest, sponsored by San Jose State Univerisity every year is one of my favorite things. I love reading just how bad people can write and the fact that they get rewarded for writing like that ON PURPOSE. This year's winner a communications writer from the Seattle area.

Ho Ho Ho! only not.

He's been pissed since FDR took us off the gold standard.

In case you've missed this news--sandwiched in between the Olympics and various political scandals--apparently the body of a bigfoot is to be unveiled. Unveiled? Confirmed? DeBunked? What say you?

First Big Foot and now this: Two US men say they have caught video footage of the mythical chupacabara, the vampire like terror of Mexico.

Massive poo: a tale of destruction. There's my title entry for Bulwer-Lytton :P

Hasbro Kills Colonel Mustard in the Corporate Office with a marketing ploy. CLUE(tm) to get a re-vamp. Damnit! Is nothing from my childhood sacred any more?

Apple HQ in Cupertino nearly became Apple Brown Betty during a 3-alarm blaze this week. The Reg's great headline: Apple iBurnt no one iHurt.

Swedish men are outraged over a state run pharmacy which carries sex-toys geared only towards women and not men. What about MY needs?!!

Apparently Italy plans a theme park to revive their flagging tourist industry. Pirates of the Colosseum anyone?

quote of the day: My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
- Oscar Wilde

Reason 1,739 why I adore this man and his writing:

Here is a lesson in creative writing.
First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.
And I realize some of you may be having trouble deciding whether I am kidding or not. So from now on I will tell you when I'm kidding.
For instance, join the National Guard or the Marines and teach democracy. I'm kidding.
We're about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.
If you really want to hurt your parents and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the Shower. Dance to the Radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.

Kurt Vonnegut
A Man Without A Country
Chapter 3