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Poison Pen Letter
Jul. 6th, 2006 07:57 amDear Summer Cold:
I thought I got rid of you two weeks ago with an overdose of vitamin C in the guise of massive quantities of lime juice, fresh mint and rum? What on earth gives you the right to sneak up on me and hit me with this now?! Don't you know it's JULY. I *HATE* summer colds. Yes, you heard me right: I.Hate.You!
My body is on fire, my head feels like a plank of wood. I could nail myself to a wall and put a plant on me. My feet feel like they're wading through mud. I have a metallic taste in my mouth. My fingers seem to clank when they hit the keys and my lungs feel like they're drowning in goo...
Wait, that's not a cold. I'm being taken over! My body has been possessed by an evil alchemist! He plans to use me in his cunningly evil plan to take over the world and make mankind his personal cabana boy! I should sacrifice myself now; hurl myself into the bay and spare humanity the fate that awaits it...
Or, I could just cut back a little on the Nyquil at night.
OOoohhhh. Coffee!
um,
Me.
I thought I got rid of you two weeks ago with an overdose of vitamin C in the guise of massive quantities of lime juice, fresh mint and rum? What on earth gives you the right to sneak up on me and hit me with this now?! Don't you know it's JULY. I *HATE* summer colds. Yes, you heard me right: I.Hate.You!
My body is on fire, my head feels like a plank of wood. I could nail myself to a wall and put a plant on me. My feet feel like they're wading through mud. I have a metallic taste in my mouth. My fingers seem to clank when they hit the keys and my lungs feel like they're drowning in goo...
Wait, that's not a cold. I'm being taken over! My body has been possessed by an evil alchemist! He plans to use me in his cunningly evil plan to take over the world and make mankind his personal cabana boy! I should sacrifice myself now; hurl myself into the bay and spare humanity the fate that awaits it...
Or, I could just cut back a little on the Nyquil at night.
OOoohhhh. Coffee!
um,
Me.
